A study by the University of Rochester has found that playing hard to get is an effective dating strategy. People employ different dating strategies to attract a partner. Playing hard to get is one of the most common one. It involves being intentionally rude or mean to the person you are interested in.
The strategy makes one seem more desirable
This strategy is often frowned upon. However, what the team from the University of Rochester found is that it works as it increases a person’s desirability.
According to a professor of science & engineering and arts at the University of Rochester, Harry Reis, when someone plays hard to get, it could make a potential partner think they have a high demand.
Gurit Birnbaum, an associate professor in psychology and psychology, people often believe that people easy to attract are desperate. For this reason, they appear less valuable than those playing hard to get.
Reis and Birnbaum have spent years looking into factors governing attraction. Over their research, they have discovered conflicting results on whether playing hard to get is efficient. However, they have also concluded that the strategy is universally practiced.
How researchers carried out the study
The team conducted three experiments where volunteers were asked to speak to potential romantic partners. However, they were actually talking to a researcher. They asked the volunteers to detail if their partner was hard to get, how much value they put on their partner and whether they wanted to engage in sexual activities.
The researchers found that volunteers value participants with more selective profiles than those with less. Moreover, they worked harder to get another date with the person they deemed hard to get. Reid explains that people try to be with people who have a high mate value as they are trying to get the best deal.
However, the team noted that this strategy might not work for everyone. They also stated that people who play hard to get too much could seem unattractive and unapproachable. Moreover, it is vital to try different dating strategies.
The team also advises people to avoid playing hard to get for too long. The reason is that good relationships have to be reciprocal for people to make a connection, and being chilly doesn’t help with that.
